These were sent to me in an email and I thought you might enjoy them :0)
When a panel of doctors was asked to vote on adding a new wing to their hospital, the Allergists voted to scratch it and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.
The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.
The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted; the Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body, while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, Grow up!'
The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, the Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.
The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.'
The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.
The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.
In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some asshole in administration.
The love story of Ralph and Edna.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end.He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed there.Edna promptly jumped in to save him. She swam to the bottom and pulled him out.
When the Head Nurse Director became aware of Edna's heroic act she immediately ordered her to be discharged from the hospital, as she now considered her to be mentally stable.
When she went to tell Edna the news she said, 'Edna, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you're being discharged, since you were able to rationally respond to a crisis by jumping in and saving the life of the person you love. I have concluded that your act displays sound mindedness.
The bad news is, Ralph hung himself in the bathroom with his bathrobe belt right after you saved him. I am so sorry, but he's dead.'Edna replied, 'He didn't hang himself, I put him there to dry. How soon can I go home?'
Psychiatrists vs. Bartenders
EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM . . . 'I've gotproblems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it.I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.''
Just put yourself in my hands for one year,' said the shrink. 'Come talk to me three times a week and we should be able to get rid of those fears..''How much do you charge?' 'Eighty dollars per visit,' replied the doctor. 'I'll sleep on it,' I said.
Six months later the doctor met me on the street. 'Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?' he asked.'Well, Eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10.
I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!''Is that so!' With a bit of an attitude he said, 'and how, may I ask,did a bartender cure you?
''He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody under there now ! ! ! '
As most of you know I love all things cute...Twin baby moose playing in a sprinkler...check it out ;o)
Take care everyone and have a safe weekend!
N Posted by Rain at 8/08/2008 11:57:00 PM
Asparagus...try this tasty recipe.
Asparagus with Morels and Tarragon
1 pound white asparagus, trimmed, peeled, and cut into 2-inch pieces
1 pound green asparagus, trimmed and cut into 2-inch pieces
3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) unsalted butter, cut into tablespoon pieces
1/2 cup finely chopped shallots (2 large)
1/4 pound fresh morels, cleaned and halved lengthwise if large
1 tablespoon chopped fresh tarragon
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice
Garnish: chopped fresh tarragon
Cook white and green asparagus separately in a 5- to 6-quart pot of boiling salted water, uncovered, until just tender, about 5 minutes for white asparagus; about 3 minutes for green asparagus
Transfer asparagus with a slotted spoon to a colander and rinse under cold water (to stop cooking), then drain again. Pat dry.
Heat 3 tablespoons butter in a 12-inch heavy skillet over moderately high heat until foam subsides, then sauté shallots, stirring, until golden brown, about 2 minutes. Add morels and sauté, stirring frequently, until tender, about 5 minutes. Add asparagus, tarragon, salt, pepper, and remaining 3 tablespoons butter and sauté, stirring, until heated through, about 3 minutes. Remove from heat and stir in lemon juice. Serve immediately.
Avocados...freshly picked from our own backyard.
Strawberry Avocado Salsa
This fresh summer salsa combines heart healthy avocados and sweet strawberries. Serve as a salsa dip with baked tortilla chips or use it as a seafood salsa over grilled halibut or shrimp kebabs.
1 cup roughly chopped strawberries
1/4 cup chopped red onion
1/2 small jalapeño pepper, minced
2 Tbsp chopped fresh cilantro
2 Tbsp fresh lime juice
1 medium avocado, roughly chopped
Freshly ground black pepper, to taste
Combine all ingredients in a medium bowl. Gently toss until well mixed.
Broccoli Salad Recipe
1 teaspoon salt
5-6 cups fresh broccoli florets (about 1 pound of florets)
1/2 cup toasted slivered almonds
1/2 cup cooked, crumbled bacon
1/4 cup of red onion, chopped
1 cup of frozen peas, thawed (or fresh peas if you can get them)
1 cup mayonnaise
2 tablespoons apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup honey
Bring a large pot of water, salted with a teaspoon of salt, to a boil. Add the broccoli florets. Cook 1-2 minutes, depending on how crunchy you want the broccoli. 1 minute will turn the broccoli bright green, and leave it still pretty crunchy. 2 minutes will cook the broccoli through, but still firm. Set your timer and do not cook for more than 2 minutes, or the broccoli will get mushy. Drain the broccoli and immediately put into a bowl of ice water to stop the cooking. Let cool and drain.
Combine broccoli florets, almonds, crumbled bacon, chopped onion, and peas in a large serving bowl. In a separate bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, cider vinegar and honey. Add dressing to the salad and toss to mix well. Chill thoroughly before serving.
Serves 4 to 6.
What are your favorite veggies? Have a wonderful day :)
N Posted by Rain at 8/06/2008 01:16:00 AM