Thursday, June 28, 2007

A Peaceful Life

California Poppies
Digital Blasphemy 3d Wallpaper

I am at peace with my life right now.

I received the results of my diagnostic mammogram, the radiologist said that there is no sign of cancer at this time and I need have another mammogram in a year. I can feel the release from all the anxiety, tension and fear that has been haunting me for weeks and in its place a new sense of peace has started to take over my mind, body and soul.

Rainman is a constant source of joy in my life. Because of his disabilities he has had to work twice as hard as the next guy in order to achieve. When Rainman was a child, I was told by an 'expert' that he would never read above a fourth grade reading level or be able to finish math equations beyond simple addition or subtraction. Each and every obstacle that Rainman has overcome is cause for celebration. Rainman has often been ridiculed and judged by the ignorance of those who are less informed. Yet, he sees good in everything and everyone and has a heart of gold! I am so proud that he finished high school and is now going to a great local community college.

I have learned through my experiences in the last eight months with Rusty that I no longer want to control anything except myself and my environment. I believe that I have finally shaken that monkey off my back and it feels so good. Also, society’s stigma of being a ‘prison momma’ really does have a positive side. I have recently discovered that there is a huge support system both online and in the ‘real world’. I am grateful for everyone who has reached out to me with their prayers and emotional support. The world is not as cold and uncaring place after all.

Long ago I learned that having sex with someone is not a cure all for life’s disappointments and struggles. I will never again have sex if “I or my partner is not interested or willing except to achieve some gain or to keep the peace.” ~ Laine. Recently I ran into an ex who has made it clear that he would love to be back into my life. ARRGH! I am not willing to be a doormat, a 'fuck me and leave me' or willing to participate in his preferred sexual fantasies. The man is lucky I did not run over him with my car :)

Recently, while listening to a friend’s tale of woe I was reminded of something that my mother used to say to me “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” My momma was one smart cookie! Unfortunately for my friend, she has gotten just that and I have reminded her that it is never too late to stop, rid her of the situation and that ‘it’ is not written in stone. Run baby, run!

At this time, I am very comfortable with where I am at this point in my life. I am starting to sit back and appreciate all the sacrifices that I have made. When I combine that with the results of hard work and planning for my future, life is just simply good.


After checking my email I see that I was tagged last month by Tom and more recently by Tech. Now I don't usually do memes, but since both of these guys asked me so sweetly, I will post it for the both of them.

Here are the rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each participant posts eight random facts about themselves.
3. Tagees should write a blogpost of eight random facts about themselves.
4. At the end of the post, eight more bloggers are tagged (named and shamed).
5. Go to their blog, leave a comment telling them they’re tagged (cut and run).

Eight Random Facts
  • I believe that the writers featured on my bl*groll are some of the sexiest men and women on the internet. I admire their talent, the ability to get inside my head and their sense of humor because that is a huge turn on for me. For a select few it goes beyond admiration and into lust. I have imagined myself with them becoming a very naughty Rain, allowing my inner freak come out to play and making them more than just a personal lollipop. ;0)
  • I have had only one speeding ticket in my life (knock on wood). My mom and I had been on vacation in Tombstone Arizona and we were on our way back to San Diego. I was seventeen and driving my moms brand new Lincoln Continental. I was not paying attention as I came over the summit and I was pulled over doing 85 in a 70 mile an hour zone. The first words out of the policeman’s mouth, “oh my, you looked just like a beautiful black bird justa flyin over that hill!’
  • My favorite colors are blue, purple and cream.
  • It is my personal belief that anytime is good naked time. I find clothes and shoes restricting and uncomfortable. When I am alone or with that special someone, I am in the buff. There are no tan lines on this body!
  • I was brought home by the police in the middle of the night when I was sixteen. One of my best friends B., in high school was being terrorized by a group of kids. One or all of them spray painted “B. is a whore and will suck anyone’s cock for free” on a very busy street on a freeway underpass. B and I decided that we were going to paint over it because of the shame it would do to her family if they saw it. The plan was that B would get up on my shoulders and she would spray paint over it. All of a sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder and as I turn around there are two very large police officers standing behind me. One of the officers told me to take B. off my shoulders and then proceeded to ask us what we were doing. B. then explained that she was the subject of the graffiti on the wall and with tears in her eyes said, “I am not a whore nor will I suck just anyone’s cock for free!” The officers were very understanding and finished painting over what was left of the graffiti. We both received stern lectures about how two wrongs don’t make a right on our way home.
  • I take belly dance lessons both in a studio and in a local pool. Belly dancing is fun and great exercise. Try it, you will like it!
  • The vehicle that I recently purchase is the first car that I have driven in over twenty years. I have always driven a truck or SUV and it has been a huge adjustment for me. However I love the gas mileage that I get and the extra savings that comes with driving a car.
  • I love to go horse back riding and I am fortunate enough to have friends that own horses. I have an open invitation to ride on their property and I try to take full advantage of it in my free time.

I am not going to tag anyone to do this meme however if you would like to post this on your own site please feel free to do so!

Have a great day everyone!

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N Posted by Rain at 6/28/2007 08:18:00 AM

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Procter Valley Photo Essay

Procter Valley Photo Essay

Total Darkness

Watch Your Step

Hang Mans Tree*

A Creepy Canopy

Ritual Altar

To be continued...

*For those of you who are interested in the paranormal click to enlarge Hang Mans Tree ;)

Have a great day everyone!


N Posted by Rain at 6/26/2007 01:02:00 PM