Thursday, June 28, 2007

A Peaceful Life

California Poppies
by
Digital Blasphemy 3d Wallpaper

I am at peace with my life right now.

I received the results of my diagnostic mammogram, the radiologist said that there is no sign of cancer at this time and I need have another mammogram in a year. I can feel the release from all the anxiety, tension and fear that has been haunting me for weeks and in its place a new sense of peace has started to take over my mind, body and soul.

Rainman is a constant source of joy in my life. Because of his disabilities he has had to work twice as hard as the next guy in order to achieve. When Rainman was a child, I was told by an 'expert' that he would never read above a fourth grade reading level or be able to finish math equations beyond simple addition or subtraction. Each and every obstacle that Rainman has overcome is cause for celebration. Rainman has often been ridiculed and judged by the ignorance of those who are less informed. Yet, he sees good in everything and everyone and has a heart of gold! I am so proud that he finished high school and is now going to a great local community college.

I have learned through my experiences in the last eight months with Rusty that I no longer want to control anything except myself and my environment. I believe that I have finally shaken that monkey off my back and it feels so good. Also, society’s stigma of being a ‘prison momma’ really does have a positive side. I have recently discovered that there is a huge support system both online and in the ‘real world’. I am grateful for everyone who has reached out to me with their prayers and emotional support. The world is not as cold and uncaring place after all.

Long ago I learned that having sex with someone is not a cure all for life’s disappointments and struggles. I will never again have sex if “I or my partner is not interested or willing except to achieve some gain or to keep the peace.” ~ Laine. Recently I ran into an ex who has made it clear that he would love to be back into my life. ARRGH! I am not willing to be a doormat, a 'fuck me and leave me' or willing to participate in his preferred sexual fantasies. The man is lucky I did not run over him with my car :)

Recently, while listening to a friend’s tale of woe I was reminded of something that my mother used to say to me “Be careful what you wish for because you just might get it!” My momma was one smart cookie! Unfortunately for my friend, she has gotten just that and I have reminded her that it is never too late to stop, rid her of the situation and that ‘it’ is not written in stone. Run baby, run!

At this time, I am very comfortable with where I am at this point in my life. I am starting to sit back and appreciate all the sacrifices that I have made. When I combine that with the results of hard work and planning for my future, life is just simply good.

************

After checking my email I see that I was tagged last month by Tom and more recently by Tech. Now I don't usually do memes, but since both of these guys asked me so sweetly, I will post it for the both of them.

Here are the rules:

1. I have to post these rules before I give you the facts.
2. Each participant posts eight random facts about themselves.
3. Tagees should write a blogpost of eight random facts about themselves.
4. At the end of the post, eight more bloggers are tagged (named and shamed).
5. Go to their blog, leave a comment telling them they’re tagged (cut and run).

Eight Random Facts
  • I believe that the writers featured on my bl*groll are some of the sexiest men and women on the internet. I admire their talent, the ability to get inside my head and their sense of humor because that is a huge turn on for me. For a select few it goes beyond admiration and into lust. I have imagined myself with them becoming a very naughty Rain, allowing my inner freak come out to play and making them more than just a personal lollipop. ;0)
  • I have had only one speeding ticket in my life (knock on wood). My mom and I had been on vacation in Tombstone Arizona and we were on our way back to San Diego. I was seventeen and driving my moms brand new Lincoln Continental. I was not paying attention as I came over the summit and I was pulled over doing 85 in a 70 mile an hour zone. The first words out of the policeman’s mouth, “oh my, you looked just like a beautiful black bird justa flyin over that hill!’
  • My favorite colors are blue, purple and cream.
  • It is my personal belief that anytime is good naked time. I find clothes and shoes restricting and uncomfortable. When I am alone or with that special someone, I am in the buff. There are no tan lines on this body!
  • I was brought home by the police in the middle of the night when I was sixteen. One of my best friends B., in high school was being terrorized by a group of kids. One or all of them spray painted “B. is a whore and will suck anyone’s cock for free” on a very busy street on a freeway underpass. B and I decided that we were going to paint over it because of the shame it would do to her family if they saw it. The plan was that B would get up on my shoulders and she would spray paint over it. All of a sudden I feel a tap on my shoulder and as I turn around there are two very large police officers standing behind me. One of the officers told me to take B. off my shoulders and then proceeded to ask us what we were doing. B. then explained that she was the subject of the graffiti on the wall and with tears in her eyes said, “I am not a whore nor will I suck just anyone’s cock for free!” The officers were very understanding and finished painting over what was left of the graffiti. We both received stern lectures about how two wrongs don’t make a right on our way home.
  • I take belly dance lessons both in a studio and in a local pool. Belly dancing is fun and great exercise. Try it, you will like it!
  • The vehicle that I recently purchase is the first car that I have driven in over twenty years. I have always driven a truck or SUV and it has been a huge adjustment for me. However I love the gas mileage that I get and the extra savings that comes with driving a car.
  • I love to go horse back riding and I am fortunate enough to have friends that own horses. I have an open invitation to ride on their property and I try to take full advantage of it in my free time.


I am not going to tag anyone to do this meme however if you would like to post this on your own site please feel free to do so!


Have a great day everyone!

Labels: ,


N Posted by Rain at 6/28/2007 08:18:00 AM

11 Comments

  • Anonymous Carla posted at 2:58 PM  
    Miss Rainy,

    Thanks for the invite you have a great site!

    Just wanted you to know that I did indeed follow your advice, running as fast as I could and got 'it' taken care of before the legal time limit was up.

    Now I have one more question for you...could you give us a 'hint' as to who you want to make more than your personal lollipop? ;) Let the freakiness begin!

    XOXO
    Carla
  • Blogger Lyndon posted at 3:09 PM  
    After having such a crazy past few months, glad to see that everything is finally going your way :-)
  • Blogger The Chick posted at 5:29 PM  
    Glad to hear you're in a better place mentally. I'm working on getting there myself.
  • Blogger Hale McKay posted at 7:28 PM  
    It's great to see you achieving inner peace. Good for you.

    Now, the first point in the meme:

    Is it okay if I imagine that I'm with a very naughty Rain? ~ I see nothing wrong with lollipops! (Don't mention that paragraph to the Chick!)

    Seriously, I'd feel contented to be included in the second sentence ~ I like to think that my humor brings at least a smile to you.

    I just got my imagination running wild again reading the part about being in the buff ~~~~

    Take care.
  • Blogger marie posted at 10:06 PM  
    Rain,

    I too hope someday I will live a peaceful life.

    I am soooo happy that your test results came back negative. I am sure that is a huge load off of your mind.

    I am glad that you are in a good place in your life. I am taking steps to accomplish this goal for myself but it is still a work in progress.

    BTW-I have sent you an e-mail with my new blog address. Due to privacy issues and unwanted people reading my blog and leaving disgusting comments is the reason I have done this.

    Please take care of yourself! You have EARNED it!
  • Anonymous Rav`N posted at 10:14 PM  
    congrats on your new-found peace. I hope its lasting and does you well. i'm glad to hear the mamogram came back negative
  • Blogger TECH posted at 8:10 AM  
    I'm glad you're okay. I wasn't able to read the rest of the post, though, because I keep fainting while trying to read the first of your eight random facts! :)
  • Blogger Rain posted at 9:51 AM  
    Welcome Carla!
    I knew you would do the right thing! Sorry no hints...I can not play favorites :)

    Hi Lyndon,
    You are right; this year has been a long and crazy ride.
    Thanks for hanging in there with me, you are the best!

    Hi Chick,
    Keep your faith sweetie. Get ready to set sail and embrace your new adventure. After all only good things come to sexy pirate girls. ((hugs))

    Hale McKay,
    I could not imagine you NOT being on my list. You bring a smile to my face and make all my secret places tingle ;0)

    Marie,
    When I heard the results of my mammogram I did not know whether to laugh or cry so I did a lot of both. You are such a doll and I am feelin’ your love, thanks!

    Rav’N,
    Awe, thanks for your words of encouragement and extending your hand in friendship all the way from Australia! Give your puppies extra hugs from me and take care of you!

    Tech,
    ***giggles*** I hope you did not hurt yourself when you fainted! BTW, your poetry chapbook ‘Passion’ is excellent, thank you! You are such talented and gifted writer. I can’t wait to read your new book, Murder by Dewey Decimal. Please let me know when it hits the bookstore!
  • Blogger Brian posted at 9:59 AM  
    It makes me smile to think of you at peace and I enjoyed reading your "eight things".

    I too found a support network when I really needed one and have met some of the greatest people on the world through blogging. And yes...some of them I find incredibly sexy! Talent, passion, honesty, humor are all very sexy to me.

    I have to do some work for my class tonight or I'd think more about being the lollipop in your second sentence!
  • Blogger Damiel posted at 2:06 AM  
    Lordy, lordy have mercy 'pon my soul ... i'm going to spend the whole day with 'my boy lollipop' on the brain :@/

    It's good to know things are better for you - have one hell of a summer Rain.

    Take good care of yourself.

    Hugs & good vibes are winging their way across the pond to ya :)
  • Anonymous laine posted at 10:20 PM  
    dang... i got lollipop on the brain now too. ;-)

    hugs to you darlin, life is good.
  • Post a Comment

    « Home

    Create a Link