Friday, April 27, 2007

Life Is a Roller Coaster

This is my horoscope for today;

You seem more erratic now, for your emotions are very close to the surface. You are likely showing more of yourself than you even realize, and the sudden shifts are reflected in not-so-subtle ways as quickly as your moods change. It's not necessary to be in total control. Try letting those close to you know that you are moving through some rough waters and could use their support.

Well no shit!

As many of you know, Rusty was offered a deal with the District Attorneys office and on advice of his lawyer he turned the deal down.

Three weeks ago my father and I met with his lawyer for a strategy meeting. During lunch we were informed that there is new DNA evidence against Rusty and his co-defendant on a new charge.

Son of a bitch.

Two days later I received a letter from Rusty and enclosed was a letter from our local school district congratulating him for scoring in the top five in the districts GED test. They are giving him the Outstanding Achievement Award for 2006. They asked him to provide a biography about himself and to remember to include a recent picture of himself so he can inspire people of all ages who have not completed high school.

I wonder if I can get a copy of his latest mug shot from our local Sheriffs department?

My father is going to make sure that the judge gets a copy of his award. He feels it is important because “It shows the judge that at least Rusty has accomplished something during his time in jail”. Also, my dad wants me to take out a one hundred fifty thousand dollar mortgage on my home so I can hire a new lawyer for his grandson. Dad just wants to hug him again before he passes away.

I swear if I could touch Rusty I would slap him silly. Before you ask, no I have NEVER hit my children. Looking back I probably should have spanked him and I really have no way of knowing if that would have changed anything in Rusty's future.

Two weeks ago I went to visit my son and I noticed a blue line on Rusty’s forearm. When I asked him about it he laughed and said he is going to have Father Time tattooed on his arm. The next day I received a phone call from his lawyer letting me know that Rusty was in the hole. Apparently they did a search while the prisoners were out on the yard and they found a weapon in his bunk. Of course Rusty is denying that it was his weapon and he has told us that it was planted by someone else. My father has bought into his story, hook, line and sinker.

Fuckfuckabutmunchersass! Fuckityfuck!

Have I mentioned that Stucco Man, Rusty’s dad is in complete denial about the trouble our son is in? He sees nothing, hears nothing and speaks nothing. Stucco Man is under the misguided impression that because California’s Prison System is over crowded and badly in need of reform, his son will most likely be given probation. If this happens you will be able to find me at the local insane asylum, third floor bed 2B.

My plate is really full and I am having trouble balancing everything in my life right now. I want to take this time to thank all of you for your understanding with my lack of posting. I have not forgotten you Jules and I will post your interview questions as soon as I gain some perspective. Also Laine, are you inside my head? Your last three posts have hit so close to home, thanks for helping me put a finger on my own thoughts concerning my personal life.

Take care everyone, I’ll be back soon!

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N Posted by Rain at 4/27/2007 01:37:00 PM


  • Blogger Brian posted at 7:07 PM  
    *hugs* That is so much to have to deal with. I can only imagine how difficult this for you to deal with as a parent.
  • Blogger Happily Anonymous posted at 8:55 PM about a plate being full. I doubt if a spanking or two would've changed much. I've seen great parents with not so great kids and terrible parents with great kids. Sometimes it's just beyond comprehension.
  • Blogger jules posted at 9:16 PM  
    Fuckfuckabutmunchersass! Fuckityfuck

    Couldn't have said it better myself.
    Call me if you need to talk.

    Damn girl, your word verification has like nineteen bazillion letters all scrunched together. I MIGHT get this done by midnight and fourteen hundred tries.
  • Blogger Margaret posted at 10:47 AM  
    There is absolutely nothing that anyone can say except that kids are the most frustrating and frightening people on the planet. We love them, but hate some of the things they do. At some point, we have to start taking care of ourselves though. I hope you are doing that.
  • Blogger TECH posted at 8:27 PM  
    You and your family are in my prayers daily, Rain. I'm rooting for you.
  • Anonymous Candy posted at 11:51 AM  
    I just want you to know that despite Rusty's decisions you are a fair and loving mom!

    I know what will make you feel better...getting laid! If you would just open your eyes, you would know exactly who I am takin' about ;)


  • Blogger Tisha! posted at 12:05 PM  
    Oh my darling a HUGE hug this must be terribly difficult for you. Much courage and strength!
  • Blogger Kilroy_60 posted at 12:59 PM  
    Congratulations, you have earned the first spot in the newest edition of A Hitchhiker's Guide To The Blogosphere.

    You have shown strength of character in this post. There are, to be honest, to many posts I read to have written comments on the ones that impressed me. I don't like to litter.

    I have no doubt you will work through this from what I've seen in your other posts. Take it as it comes and be strong. This is, it seems, the price you pay to raise human beings of value.

    I hope this link serves you well. I would be pleased to do a permanent link exchange if you're so inclined. I think our points of view and approach would mesh well.
  • Blogger Rain posted at 7:15 PM  
    Brian, Thank you so much for the hug, it means more to me than you know. ;)

    Happily Anonymous, You are so kind, thank you for your support.

    Jules, You are such a treasure! Congratulations, Graduate! Wahoo!
    (((happy dance!!)))

    Margaret, I agree with you completely! I am a survivor, I just need to pull myself up by my boot straps. Thank you so much for stopping by and taking the time to comment. =0)

    tech, Thank you for the prayers and cheers, it feels good to know that someone is cheering me along!

    Candy, It's good to know you have my back, baby! Don't be silly my eyes are open. ;)

    Tisha! Wow, a hug all the way from Belgium, how awesome is that? Thank you :)

    Kilroy_60, Thank you for the link and the words of encouragement. See you soon!
  • Anonymous Rav`N posted at 11:15 PM  
    you are one strong lady. hang in there, try to take some time out for yourself occasionally. Our thoughts are with you
  • Anonymous laine posted at 4:20 AM  
    don't mortgage your house. don't do it, don't do it.

    hoping you find some balance soon honey. fuckityfuck is right!
  • Blogger Starrlight posted at 10:07 AM  
    Damn! I will quit bitching about my stress level now. I sure hope things work out for you and glad to have found you via Kilroy!
  • Blogger Damiel posted at 4:05 AM  
    Hugs and positive vibes coming to you from Paris


    did you catch 'em ?

  • Anonymous Maggie posted at 9:01 AM  
    Sometimes you think it is to much of a roller coaster than something good happens.
  • Blogger The Fat Lady Sings posted at 12:55 PM  
    Jesus, sweetheart! You really are being put through the mill! I am so sorry. I've been there with my own family. My brother has spent more time in jail than out. None of his incarcerations was long enough to help him kick the alcohol and drugs, unfortunately. And no one in my family (save for myself) has ever got the fact that they are dealing with a manipulative addict. They buy whatever story it is he decides to spin. There are always excuses – always reasons why it wasn’t his fault. So I do understand. All of it. I wish I could offer up some advice, my dear. All you can do is ride out the storm. I would not mortgage your house, however – no matter what your father says. If you do manage to buy your son out of this one – who knows how long it will be before he gets into another? Sorry to put it quite so baldly – but as I said – I have walked this road many times before. The police finding a weapon in his cell is very telling. I would venture to guess he doesn’t see it all as seriously as you do either. I will keep you both in my prayers, my dear. Hang in there!
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