Rainy Day Wonderings

Friday, October 12, 2007

Male or Female?

How quickly the years pass!

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Male or Female? You might not have known this, but a lot of non-living objects are actually either male or female. Here are some examples:

FREEZER BAGS: They are male, because they hold everything in, but you can see right through them.
PHOTOCOPIERS: These are female, because once turned off; it takes a while to warm them up again. They are an effective reproductive device if the right buttons are pushed, but can also wreak havoc if you push the wrong Buttons.
TIRES: Tires are male, because they go bald easily and are often over inflated
HOT AIR BALLOONS: Also a male object, because to get them to go anywhere, you have to light a fire under their butt.
SPONGES: These are female, because they are soft, squeezable and retain water.
WEB PAGES: Female, because they're constantly being looked at and frequently getting hit on.
TRAINS: Definitely male, because they always use the same old lines for picking up people.
EGG TIMERS: Egg timers are female because, over time, all the weight shifts to the bottom.
HAMMERS: Male, because in the last 5000 years, they've hardly changed at all, and are occasionally handy to have around.
THE REMOTE CONTROL: Female. Ha! You probably thought it would be male, but consider this: It easily gives a man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he doesn't always know which buttons to push, he just keeps trying. ;0)

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Have a good night everyone!

Labels: funny, Funny Images, misc

N Posted by Rain at 10/12/2007 12:02:00 AM

Monday, May 07, 2007

It's Monday...

You Are Lacy Panties

You're one seductive chica, but you've also got a ton of class.
You are like a pinup girl, with timeless beauty and sexiness.
Men are afraid to talk to you, knowing they'll be addicted to your charm immediately.
Only a true manly man, confident in himself, is your perfect match.

What Kind of Panties Are You?

How was your weekend? Comments are always appreicated. =0)

Labels: funny, misc

N Posted by Rain at 5/07/2007 08:27:00 AM

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Just for fun

I got this in a email. Thanks Bonita!

WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.And her husband is on the back of the milk carton

WOMEN'S REVENGE

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished topurchase. As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a televisionset in her purse."So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked."No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

UNDERSTANDING WOMEN (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication, Larry and hiswife JoAnn listened to the instructor, "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes anddislikes." He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"Larry leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girlnotices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is lookingfor a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. Afew minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball ofstring on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons foryour wife? He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... so does she.(I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!)

How is your weekend going?

Labels: funny, misc

N Posted by Rain at 2/18/2007 12:22:00 AM

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Christmas Treats

Eating Tips for The Holidays

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can and quickly. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an "eggnog-aholic" or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it!!!! Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello???
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple, pumpkin and mincemeat - have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips: Start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body. But rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO what a ride!"

I recieved this from my Auntie Dixie in an email and I thought I would share it with all of you.

By the way, my friend Geoffe over at iPinhole just recieved his BFA, Bachelors of Fine Art. Congratulations Geoffe, whoo hoo! Go on over and check out his site, I am sure you will like his work as much as I do. Oh and tell him Rain sent you!

Do you have a favorite food for the holidays and if so what is it? My answer will be in the comments.

Labels: funny

N Posted by Rain at 12/14/2006 01:49:00 AM